LoveToKnow Recovery:AllComments

From LoveToKnow Recovery

Comments

Jill,

You are really talking about two different issues here. First of all, your boyfriend's addiction to pornography is his issue. It may be hard to believe, but it doesn't have anything to do with your attractiveness at all. It isn't about anything you did or didn't do. That doesn't mean that his actions haven't hurt you very deeply, though. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide whether you want to take the risk involved in having a relationship with this man. Seeing a counselor may help you to sort things out.

Now, about your boyfriend: He can change his behavior. That doesn't mean that he will never be tempted to look at porn again. He will need to learn some strategies to cope with those thoughts and urges. It may help you to think of this as an addiction and that he can get help and go into recovery, which is an ongoing process, rather than a problem that can be "fixed." A therapist can help him, going to meetings of Sexaholics Anonymous can also help.

Jodee Redmond LoveToKnow Editor

-- Contributed by: JC Redmond

My boyfriend and I have never had sex, but he struggles with a pornography problem. He has tried to stop several times and will go months without it. We have an internet accountability (covenant eyes) but I found recently that he was engaging in chat rooms with web cams. I feel like he has cheated on me. We have broken up as of now. I hope for him to get better because I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I feel worthless about myself right now and can't risk always feeling like this. How do I cope, and how does he fix this?

-- Contributed by: Jill

Dave,

It's not uncommon for people to have fantasies about ideas that they would consider forbidden in their real lives. This article (originally published by in Psychology Today) might be helpful: http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=35180

Jodee Redmond

LoveToKnow Editor

-- Contributed by: JC Redmond

Why do I fantasize about my wife having sex with other men?

-- Contributed by: dave
> Return to article