LoveToKnow Recovery:AllComments

From LoveToKnow Recovery

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Patty,

The decision to stop helping a family member is a very personal one. Can you and your siblings talk and come to some kind of a joint decision about the best way to proceed? Does the hospital have a social worker on staff that you can talk to about options available to your brother? If someone in the family is willing to manage your brother's finances for him, you may want to look at legal options so that someone will make sure that is rent is paid and he isn't giving his ATM card to someone. Al-Anon should also be able to give you some guidance.

Jodee Redmond LoveToKnow Editor

-- Contributed by: JC Redmond

my brother, 53, is an alcoholic, and has been getting worse year by year. He has been to rehab centers. Most recently he started drinking the day after he come home. He is now in the hospital, brought by a sponsor who feared he would commit suicide. This sponsor, or friend, thinks we should support him financially, as he is alone, behind in his rent and on disability (the last check supposedly consumed by a girl he trusted with his atm card) He has been helped, financially and psychologically over the years. My mother is over 80. HOw much more can she take of this. NOne of the siblings live in the area, and quite frankly, we don't have much hope for him. Can anyone give me advice on this? Should we give him money? Or should we just let him go? I know he can't help it, but at what point do we say enough?

-- Contributed by: patty

Natalie,

Many people believe that an alcoholic or other addict won't seek help until they hit rock bottom. You can't make him stop drinking; he is responsible for his own behavior. You can encourage him to see a doctor for the stomach pain and the lesions. Offer to take him to the appointment, and make sure the doctor knows how much he is drinking.

Instead of focusing on getting your brother to change, start with changing yourself. Al-Anon offers support for people who have someone in their life who has a drinking problem. You already know that allowing him to live in your home without working isn't doing him any good. Here is the website for Al-Anon: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html

I hope this helps. Take care.

Jodee Redmond LoveToKnow Editor

-- Contributed by: JC Redmond

I think my brother has a serious drinking problem. He drinks 2 liters of wine daily and doesnt think he has a problem. I have confronted him about it and he denies it. He has no job, is living on my couch(which is causing problems with my husband and I), and his kids want nothing to do with him. Our mother thinks it has been going on for years.. How do I get him to admitt he has a problem, and get him to seek treatment or go to AA meetings. He has developed these lesions all over his skin, has stomach pain often, and thinks it is all due to stress. I worry about his health and need to get him into something. I need help please! Our mom suggested your organization, and I know that our church holds AA meetings, but I don't know how to GET him to go there! He is 44, homeless, jobless, and in denial!

Please help!

-- Contributed by: Natalie Osborn
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