Lying Disorders

From LoveToKnow Recovery

Do you believe your loved one has a lying disorder? Does he/she have a tendency to lie about the littlest things? Does it aggravate you that your loved one lies, and do you wish he/she would stop all of the nonsense? If so, you are not alone. Millions of people around the world lie, but they do not have a lying disorder. Keep reading to find out what really ails a liar.

Lying Disorder: No Such Disorder

Many people may throw the diagnosis of lying disorder around but in actuality, it doesn't exist. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) does not recognize lying as a mental disorder. Instead, it is a symptom of either a mental disorder, a personality trait or a learned response.

Mental Disorders and Lying

Individuals with a mental illness are more likely to lie. This is usually due to their irrationality and insecurity about their illness. People who suffer from bipolar disorder, depression and personality disorders are most likely to exhibit compulsive lying as a symptom of their illness.

Lying as a Personality Trait

It may be difficult to understand, but some people possess a personality trait that makes them lie. They may have an intense need to be better than other people or be the center of attention. Liars with this personality trait usually started lying young because it came so easily and natural to them.

Lying as a Learned Response

If your loved one doesn't have a mental disorder and you don't believe it's part of his/her personality, it could very well be a learned response. Situations in the person's life may have led him/her to lie, and this resulted in your loved one getting what he/she wanted. People who get what they want by lying essentially are rewarded for it, and this leads them to do it again. Your loved one realized how easy it was to tell a fib to get something, and then started telling more lies. With each lie someone tells, it gets easier, and the lies get bigger.

What to Do with a Liar

Whatever the reason for your loved one's lies, he/she is still making it difficult for you to spend time with him/her. You never know if what your loved one is saying is true or false so you never know how to respond. This makes communication difficult and puts a strain on your relationship. Here are some ways you can deal with a liar to make life with him/her a bit more bearable:

  • Confront your loved one

If your loved one lies because of a learned response, you need to show him/her that lying only goes so far until people start seeing through the lies. Your loved one will be shocked that you discovered his/her deception and will most likely deny it. However, you might see a reduction in the lies since he/she knows he/she may not be able to get away with them anymore (at least with you).

  • Avoid certain topics

If you know your loved one has a tendency to lie when talking about certain things, avoid those topics. This way you won't have to hear him/her fibbing and your loved one can focus on telling the truth.

  • Deny attention

Since some liars love to be the center of attention, deny them of it. Don't react to their ridiculous stories and instead, only respond to things you believe are true. Only responding to the truth will reward the person to continue to tell the truth in the future.

  • Show me proof

If you believe something your loved one is false, ask him/her to show you proof. If it's true, he/she will have no problem furnishing evidence. Furthermore, if the person becomes defensive about showing you the proof, at least you have given him/her a heads up that you are on to the lies.

Deciding to Keep a Liar Close

Dealing with a liar is difficult and can drain you emotionally. If this person is a close friend of yours, it might be time to decide if the friendship is worth all of the turmoil. If this is a boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse, you may want to sit down and discuss the reasons for the lying. Your significant other may need some mental health help. If the liar is someone you work with or just an acquaintance, try to stay away as much as possible. Lastly, keep in mind that liars are toxic people and it's important to rid your life of toxic individuals as much as possible.



 


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