Habitual Lying

Habitual lying is a common problem for many people. If you stop to consider all the "little white lies" that you say when you are interacting with others, you may be surprised to find that you aren't as honest as you think you are.

Everyone Lies

Most people would agree that compulsive lying that hurts other people is not something that they should be doing, but they may be more likely to excuse habitual lying in themselves if they feel they have a good reason for doing so. Here are some examples of lies that most people would find difficult to accept, let alone forgive:

• A spouse or partner who lies about whether they have been faithful
• A person who lies about his or her marital or relationship status to conduct multiple relationships or have sexual encounters with other people
• An individual who lies to defraud someone else

Both genders tell lies, but there are specific reasons why they decide to do so. Think about the times when you have told what you consider to be a little white lie and what motivated you to do so. Do you see a pattern when you think about your own behavior?

When men tell lies, they don't do so without reason. Most of the time, a man will be less than truthful to make himself look better. He may exaggerate about his income or how much or how often he works out every week. His image is important to him, and he doesn't want to appear at a disadvantage when dealing with other people.

Women are also guilty of telling lies. When they lie in social situations, they are most likely to do so to make someone else feel better. Women have traditionally been raised to consider other people's feelings, and many of them would feel very uncomfortable, to say the least, if they said something that hurt someone else.

For that reason, women are more likely to tell someone they liked a gift they received when they didn't. If a woman is asked, "What do you think of my hair, outfit, etc.?", she will typically respond by finding something positive to say, even if she personally didn't like item in question. Not wanting to hurt another person's feelings may also explain why women tend to say "Yes" to requests that they would rather not comply with at work or when asked to help out at their child's school.

If you want to be more truthful in your life, the first step is to put habitual lying on your own radar. Being aware of your previous behavior patterns will help you figure out what kinds of situations put you in a position where you are likely to tell a lie, even a little white one. Once you know when you are likely to fall into habitual lying, you can consciously begin to make changes.

Choosing to tell only the truth, no matter who may get hurt, isn't necessarily the best approach. For example, when you are asked to participate in an activity that you would rather skip, you can weigh the benefits (spending time with friends or family, or helping out a good cause) against how much you would rather not participate. You can then make a decision you feel good about and tell the person asking the truth.

Everyone has to interact with each other in a civilized manner, and whether you like it or not, habitual lying seems to be part of human social interaction. It's up to each person to decide whether or not it's acceptible to lie in a given situation.

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